ღ Hugs and Kisses-*

End of the wha-?

2011-05-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

Rumours have been flying around lately in recent days and weeks, especially on the internet, stating that the end of the world is on the 21st of May this year. No, it was not, and I'm not saying that I am not afraid of the end of the world, or for Jesus' second coming.

Everyday, I asked myself, if Jesus comes through the cloud today, will I ever be ready? And everyday, my answer remained the same. I will not be ready if He were to come today, or even tomorrow. I can say that I live quite fearfully these past few days, and everyday I told myself I should go back to Jesus, go back to Jesus.

It is not the first prediction made by man about the end of the world. Surely and clearly, the Bible mentioned that Jesus is coming again soon, but it never specified which date or year Jesus will come to judge the people of the earth. On top of that, the Bible clearly said that no one on heaven or earth knows when is the exact date of the coming, only God Himself. So why is man trying to prove God wrong when He said no one knows it?

No one knows when is the final day.

That is why we have to equip ourselves with the shield and sword of Jesus. Last Sunday during service, the pastor emphasized that, "Until every tongue confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord, then He will return."

Our role here as mere human beings is to share and spread the love of Jesus, and try to save more souls for Him by making them see how beautiful our Lord really is, and not to predict when He is coming and to live life to the fullest before He really arrives.

Yes, Jesus is coming soon, or better yet, Jesus is coming NOW.

For those of you who have heard of Jesus before but still not believing, it is time you sit down and think about how He have loved you, it is not impossible; if you believe that Katy Perry herself loves her fans, what more about someOne supernatural who had created everything there are today?

Believe me when I say, and it does not take a religious person with strong Christian faith to know this, that Jesus is really coming again, soon, no, NOW.

There is another side of the story - - who knew?

2011-04-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while when I hear someone telling gossips and stories about another, only one thought crosses my mind, how about the other side of the story?

Prolly I've been telling myself that for so long now, that I have forgotten to look into the other side of the story myself. Can you forgive someone who has gone too far off? What are the limits that cannot be crossed in order for you to find that forgive, or greater, the forget, if you ever get to reach that level?

So here I am, was about to go to sleep when I stumbled upon this blog I have once ignored and forgotten. As I click on 'Older Posts', more memories came back to me, and I actually saw the story from the other side; a view where I have once ignored, but now I should have known. Probably then it wouldn't be this way as it turned out to be. Don't get me wrong, I feel (a lot) happier for where I am today, compared to where I was 3 years ago. And then there is this part, where I don't even know where to start saying that I am truly, very sorry.

It was funny, cause when I first noticed this person, I thought my life can change in a snap of a finger. Spark lights rose and things happened, but before I knew it, the sparks were gone, what was left were only scars and stains from where the spark has decided to hurt.

The real catch here is that, I truly am very sorry, and I don't even know how to start apologizing. I probably went too far off now, and if you can't find a slot in your heart to forgive, I will never blame you, because I know, I have crossed the limit of..of being bitchy, I guess.

I cannot imagine, how your life have been after that spark died. But as I read your posts, I misjudged you, and I realized that you meant every single word you ever said.

No, you still are the sweetest person there is in the world, but you have been to sweet for me to handle, and I cannot comprehend that. I am satisfied with what I have today, and I don't regret the minute I walked out that door.

I don't know - I'm sorry? Though I know this may not be sufficient ever enough !

It has been more than 2 years now - can you imagine that? I'm glad to see you move on, and I'm so ever glad you have learned to love again.

...Sucks to be me =(

Jesus is coming again...soon!

2011-03-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

The news headlines are covered with Japan's recent mother nature disaster. An earthquake of 7.9 magnitude that went up to 8.8 magnitude later is shockingly a really big scale; and experts predict for tsunami to take place after this at nearby coasts. Imagine how many lives will be lost.

And just yesterday when I remember playing against some Japanese, I am still having a hard time trying to imagine how Japan will look like at this moment, and after the disaster has past.

I can't help but to think and strongly believe that truly, the second coming of Jesus is really near.

And then it made me ask myself: Does the current things in life now I'm doing worth it? Is this really important? Are these the things I wanna do before the world ends? Nobody knows when is Jesus coming again, and I have told myself more than a dozen times how I would wanna help the people from around the world.

And look, where I am now.

Sitting comfortably in my room, punching words on the keyboard.

I truly ever feel for Japan, I'm really gonna sit here and have a pray with Jesus for a while, before I go back to doing everything I was going to do.

Jesus, please save the souls that You love.

A song to share. I'm going to tell the world one day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8z2XLZjKYQ

And then, there's this part of life.

2011-03-05T04:21:00.000-08:00

It was harder than I thought, trying to put the fire out. I fed it water, sand, and more water. Just when the flames got smaller and I thought to myself, "Ah well, finally it is ending," then a piece of paper flew into the flame, and the fire suddenly became bigger, lighting up that dark night. And there I was again, trying to put the fire out.

No, this blog isn't private, but it does contain my thoughts and my feelings about life and everything else in it.

I haven't written in a while, but as these words are being punched out, I'm feeling a little slightly relieve from a burden that I never realized I carried.

With almost 7 billion different kind of people in the world, why should we all be surprise at all when one day down the road we meet someone who doesn't throw us off our feet, but instead stop on our tracks and feel like the end of the world is where your next foot lands if you were to continue walking along. I guess it's pretty safe to say that as people, we are given the fullest opportunity to sound our mind, take a step back and think of things in life that sometimes, though we've heard happened before in the next table in a coffee shop, happening to us.

Since I was in high school, I knew moving along from a past won't be easy. Nothing is ever easy in the world; easy is only temporary. I used to advise my little brother then to move on from his puppy love, and keep reminding him that there are other fishes in the sea, and butterflies in the garden. It was not until it happened to me that I realized saying is easier than making it happen. I remember this clearly as I sat on my bed crying, and telling myself it is over and it was not even worth the tears that were soaking my towel. And yet, I knew those words of comfort goes a long way from making it come true. There is a saying, "Time will heal." I'm not denying that, it does take time to heal. It takes time to forget that pain, to forget the loss, or to forget that regret. But I used to tell myself, "Five years from now when I remember this particular event that made me cry my eyes out, I will feel better about it, and would probably smile as I think about me being right five years ago". And yes, I've been there before, and I realized I was right when I told myself just that.

Today is no different, I tell myself that people will talk, and we cannot stop them from talking. I used to mention this statement that I really liked, and I still do, because I still oh-so-ever still believe in it, probably due to the fact that it is true: "Everyone will always talk about someone, but aren't we a someone to everyone else?" Point is: We'll always be talked about, whether we like it or not. Sure most of them are judgmental, may be even the cold hard truth that hurt us, but sad to say that that is the way it is. Some times we hear of things of us that are constructive, and that can make us a better person when we realized that it is true and when we humble ourselves to accept that fact. Did I mention that we are all not perfect? There is bound to be an imperfection in every perfection. Some times, to balance things out, we hear things about us that just doesn't have a reason to it at all; a gossip, or a rumor. Though this is one typical habit most of us have, to sit down over a yumcha session and then 'POP!' comes out a rumor that you heard yesterday. Many a times rumors are being exaggerated and have twisted tale, and this is how a rumor always end up being: a rumor: of twisted talk and a bunch of gossip. And then when these rumor reach our ears and we realize that it is not the true story of it, well, that's the one sad thing about rumors: you cannot stop them, neither can you correct them.

If the saying 'Old habits die hard', then watch this, 'Old rumors won't die'.

No, they won't. They will keep spreading, though years have past, or even if that person is already 6 feet under, once in a while a rumor will come across one's lips just for old times' sake.

All that being mentioned, there is another part of life I would really like to bring up. Here's a few sayings as a soft introduction: 'Strangers are friends you haven't met", "Friends are like a bunch of grapes; there are good grapes and then there are bad grapes", and , "Friends are like stars. You may not see them, but they are always there."

Ah, friends. Friends are so important because when you're sad, they'll back you up. They're like your parents, just way cooler and way open, and they don't bug you nor yell at you.

I feel as if some people take friends on Facebook way too seriously. I mean, by deleting one of your friends on Facebook doesn't mean you delete them off your life, though at times when you delete someone off, you'd probably feel a little better. But, that's not the point.

My main point is actually my second saying. I began to realize that some friends are two-faced, and some are pleasantly nice, and some are genuine, and some are just jerks that deserved to be ignored, back when I was in high school (Yes I learn a lot in those 5 years). Two friends were talking and they seemed to enjoy each other's company, until one of them came telling me how he hates it when she hangs out with him and tell him stories that bored him. I knew she trusted him more than she trusted anyone else, and though he is a good friend of mine, I didn't pointed it at his face that he was being a two-faced friend, but that made me feel that I should be careful who I pick as friends.

I guess it is wrong to say that we should judge a person by the first impression, but first impressions are important. Neither should we judge a person by the way he looks or by the way he dresses, or simply by his skin color, or whether if he is too ugly to look at.

Many, many times, I judged a person wrongly. I judged them based on their attitude, and the way they talk, or simply by the way they bring themselves. I try every and most of the time not to judge a person that I am not close to just because of a rumor I heard over dinner table in a Chinese kopitiam. I have this one experience in high school that taught me a huge amount of lesson. Two guy friends were quarreling, and one of them told a girlfriend of mine that the other guy is the bad guy; he smoked, and he joined a gang, and he made use of himself. When this rumor reached my ear, I asked my girlfriend if it was true. And I asked her, "Are you sure he smokes and joined a gang?" She said without a doubt, "Yes, because our friend told us so." And I asked her, "Did you ever see him smoke before?" She said no, and added, "But I trust that he is not lying about him smoking." I did not want to believe her, and therefore I left it as it is. About a week later, this guy came to me apologizing, he said he had made up that rumor about him smoking and joining a gang because he was really mad at him. From then on, I knew I shouldn't ever, listen to a rumor, or if I happen to, I'd best get the story both sides.

Years past since the lesson I learnt, and sometimes I do not think to follow it, and now, I try hard to get the story from both sides.

Bottom line is, if you do not know a person well enough, do not be the first to judge them; but ironically, it is because you do not know that person well enough is why you judged them in the first place.

Eh.

2010-11-26T09:39:00.000-08:00

I have many big dreams, bigger than how you would imagine it would be. I would daydream that I led a happy life, drive luxurious cars and live in a big house with my own swimming pool and a gym, and maybe a cinema and a karaoke room.

My best daydream is still to get my hands on RM1million one day. Invest it, make the money grow, and be as rich until I can't keep track anymore. I'd probably buy a big house; a mansion, and have my parents and siblings and cousins and aunties and uncles to live with me. I really would love that, it'll be (literally) a dream come true. I still like my Kenari so prolly I will stick with it; but I will definitely buy a new car...Or cars. :D I'd give money to my brother who wants to open a BB Range, and to my sister who then can own her own kindergarten, and to my mummy who'd open her very own Nasi Lemak restaurant. My daddy doesn't have big dreams, but whatever he wants, I'll give. And then of course, this is how I fantasize my life would be.

Here I am sitting in my home living hall, typing on this Dell laptop that Daddy bought with his hard-earned money, feeling cold under the fan and because it's raining outside. I should probably be more than thankful to even have a laptop to play with - ahh and yet I'm demanding for a new desktop. Maybe I am asking too much.

And then here I am thinking about the collection of DVDs I have stored up in my room, which I hardly use them anymore. And my 3 mobile phones that are all still usable.

My point is this, today, like fate had brought me, I scrolled to Rumah Hope's website. (www.rumahhope.org/) I read through every tabs in that page, word by word. From a beginning of 5 children, neglected and unloved, there are at least 60 or more children now living in that home, all probably wishing they're here in my seat.

My heart almost cried when I see the pictures of these children - they all look so happy on the outside, but under that layer of a smiling face, there is a slight pinch of pain and sadness, something that I can never describe. Somehow, some where in my heart, I feel this pain stabbing my heart, as if I'm feeling what they're feeling.

They do not asked to be abandoned, neither did they asked to be born and then neglected, they never thought they'd live with children who shares the same fate as them, unlike me, so richly blessed. They never asked to be abuse, to be beaten, to be rejected, to be unloved.

Looking at the pictures and reflecting what terrible past they might have had before living in Rumah Hope, I can hardly see how hard it must be for them, and most of them are barely 10 years of age, and some of my age.

Gosh.. what they had gone through I cannot imagine, but I do hope one day I have enough strength and compassion to reach out to these children.

And I cannot help but to think of how many cases are there of abandoning of newborns, some left to die, and some just left as if it were a toy doll. It pains me so much, till there was a point when I actually said, "If you don't want the baby, at least just give it to me, I really rather would take care of the baby.." The mistakes that we, the people who can rationalize, and can act freely, are the ones that caused all these pain that we dare not face, and forced to avoid. These are the things that we have to avoid, think about the abandon babies, think about how they'd grow up, and ending up staying in places like Rumah Hope instead of a steady home. Erh, it really pains me..

To everyone who comes across this page, please, take responsibility for everything you're doing, especially when it involves another life. Children are God's greatest gift of all.

<3

Fly~?

2010-11-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

When I decided one fine day that I was held back by my own bittersweet memories, I realized now that I probably brought that down on myself. And I guess it's time to finally letting it go now, with me realizing it, with me meaning it.

Though it doesnt come to me that often, it hits me once in awhile, and when it does, it makes me ponder and think waaaaaaaay back. But hey, I'm happy and contended with the way things are now. Sure I miss those memories a hell lot, but I don't regret being where I am today.

Sure I miss hanging out with the few people, those few people who made me cry, who fought, who laughed with me, and those who will never be erased from my memory. Be it good or bad memory, it stays there, treasured, and cherished. I guess I miss those days when school holidays are around, I'll be looking forward to the first day of school again, to meet these few people who, no matter how, helped me feel alive - who helped me see and feel what life brings.

Looking at the recent pictures (I'm no stalker, but pictures are there for us to look, right?), I can see somehow written in their faces, they, too, are happy and somehow, satisfied, with their life today. Though we are thousands of miles away, I sure always do bid them a happy life. And in near future, without a doubt, I will always hope to see them again, for a drink of two maybe, reminiscing about our own yesteryears, and maybe laughing at ourselves, too.

Nah, I'm happy. I'm satisfied. I feel contended. I feel like everything is falling into its own place. I guess I feel, mostly, I felt like it flew away.

24th October 2010

2010-10-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

Life.
Many a times a reminisce back upon life and wonder what it is about.

So far, my summary of life includes:

* You live, learn, love, and leave
* Critics, gossips, comments, will never go away
* It really doesnt hurt to give a smile, or pass a nice compliment
* Learn from your past mistakes, try not to repeat them
* Let bygones be bygones
* If you love someone, appreciate them, and if there comes a need, make a sacrifice if needed
* Friends come and go, best friends keep in touch after months
* If you can't don't care, then don't acknowledge
* Learning is a lifelong process
* You'll always be talking bad about someone, but you're someone to someone else too
* Never pretend to be someone you're not, in the end you're missing the whole you
* <3 :)

Fly Away~

2010-10-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

Fly away, fly away,
This dreaded memory of past;
So long and so far,
Yet still clearly etched in my mind.

Fly away, fly away,
Sweet memories of the past,
Once a beautiful story,
But now a regretful past.

Fly away, fly away,
Bitter memories of a teenage dream,
You were near yet so far,
Be gone, and never come back.

Fly away, fly away,
My memory etched your clear face,
But no, I don't want to remember,
These memories I want to let go.

Fly away, fly away,
Youthful laughter and tears and gags,
And of pain and sorrow and sadness too,
That I once forgotten, but now seem so true.

Fly away,
The image of you,
For it hurts me to think of you,
The one I once loved, but now want to lose.

Fly away,
Dearest friend,
You and I, we never had it back,
I want to move on, and be at my best.

Fly away,
Sweet memories of youth,
For now I'm all grown up,
And am learning from the past.

Fly away,
Bittersweet youth,
I don't ever want you back,
In my life, and in my mind.

Please fly away,
Sweet memory of youth,
You were once in my life,
And made my world real.

Please fly away,
Bitter memory of youth,
You were part of my life,
And made my world real.

Please fly away,
Dear memories of you,
I live a dear life now,
And don't want no tears.

Please fly away..
We were young then,
And didn't know love,
Let's just then, leave it as it is.

Please fly away..

Ahh.

2010-06-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

Life is full of surprises, bad or good, happy or sad.

Looking back and as I keep thinking about what life is really about - we live, we die, and then we are history. We had laughs, we had tears, we had love, we had pain.

I guess life is really just about all these things we encounter, and as humans we get to feel what is it like to feel loved, to feel bitterness, and to feel pure joy.

We are all born for one reason, and for one purpose. Till this day maybe many of us don't see a main reason why we're on this earth, probably because we live everyday just as it was and we go chasing our dreams, we forgot the reason why we were here. Some of us are born with compassion; we have the power to touch someone's life. Some of us are born to reveal another one's compassion. Some of us are born to be leaders, and some of us are born to be great followers. Some of us are born to be inventors, inventors that can change our very lives. Some of us are born to be different, and to prove to the rest of the world that not one man's fate is the same as another.

There is this one thing that had kept me wondering for so many years now. Since I first got to realized the word 'love', I wondered what it was. It is so vast, so full of secrecy, so full of pain and that joy you can feel, so full of wonders, and so mysterious. Love is the greatest weapon of all.

Uh.

2010-03-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Ahh. The year 2010. Sweet.

When i think back upon my life, heck, it had been a pretty big mess. Sure, everyone does mistakes, but i guess no one ever repeats them.

The year 2009 did end rather pleasantly. I felt like I got over my past relationships, I learnt how to let bygones be bygones and I also learnt to make myself emotional stronger. But yes, it was a rather very hard 3 past years..

The weather is such a killer nowadays, I keep thinking the end of the world is really, really close.

Ah, I'm tired. Gonna do some reading on Marketing then go to bed. :)

Nitez world.

<3

2010-01-17T12:28:00.000-08:00

You make me feel alive all over againnnn.

:D

2009-11-27T07:16:00.000-08:00
haha, it really sucks to be heart broken. Just so many things come flooding in your brain at once, you can't even get to catch any of it. Maybe some of you may think that I deserve it, and no I'm not denying cause right now, I think I really do deserve it.

I hate it when I realized you won't be there to tell me things anymore.
What happened to the qualities you said you were looking for that you found in me?
What about the promises you made to me?
What about those things you said that cheered me up almost immediately?

And why on earth are Agu and June Liang right again!? ):

I can't, its so hard.. To sit here, and think of everything. Everything from the beginning. I know it's only a week. We had a great one week, that one week that can break my heart as if it had been for years.

I thought you were the one. ARGH yes, the naive me came took over me again. But I couldn't, I couldn't help falling for you. You made me think you were the one.

Damn, I hate it now, all over again, I hate it when you come telling me, "Hey, you know, I lied all this while." The worst part? "I'm sorry." Like "i'm sorry" can make any difference, like it can mend this broken heart, like it can reverse what you just said!

That's crazy, one week and you can make me feel this way. It's crazy, it really is.

I DONT UNDERSTAND.

No, I dont.
Not at all and not even a bit.
So many questions, but you're not there to give me an answer.

Telling myself, dont cry. Dont cry, anymore.
Not working.

Can I ask you why?
Why after so much convincing that it will work between us, you drop it just like that?

You're confused?
Probably. But unacceptable.

I hate to see your name. I hate to look at it, scroll over it, but just when I wanna double click it, I stop and remember how you break this heart you promised you will mend. But, I keep doing that, I keep scrolling till I see your name.

It made me sigh, it made let out a heavy breath, it made me remember how you broke my heart again..

I really wanted to love you.
I really did...

I guess it's not too bad that it has turned out like this, but hey, I really did love you, you know. You were really, really, someone special, to me.

I'm gonna miss your laugh, though I've only heard it a few times.
Gonna miss the way you tease.
Gonna miss the way you look at me.
Gonna miss the things you say to me that will actually make me genuinely smile.

Gawd you make me crazy over you.

And the same way, you make me cry over you.

2009-11-25T05:22:00.001-08:00
You mended my broken heart
Before you turned and walk away
Leaving me in tears
And bleeding all over again

You said to me, "I love you."
And i smiled, and knew that you meant well
But was I too naive
To have believe those 3 most powerful words?

And then one day
You came to me and told me
that you were taking another path
there i was all over again,
crying and trying to pick pieces of my broken heart

Why
Did you ever came into my life
and brought sunshine
then take it back again?

I wore a mask today
A smiley mask
that let the world know that i am indeed happy
but truth is that, i am not.

People come and people go, but what really remains is the fond memories, sweet memories of laughter. Wishing that sometimes, life will never have a fullstop. (That would probably mean the world will be so packed, therefore, adding some smart brainies alltogether, create a way to live underwater and outta space <33)

I never knew how I can ever accept a loved one's death. I never imagined how it would be. Until it happened. Heartbroken and asking why God has to be so unfair - but He actually isnt.

Then now I wonder, why God wanna make me go through all this love issues that always seem to get back to me?
Or is it just..Plainly me to be blamed?

TO YOUUU:

why u little heartbreaker. tears are precious ok! :P

hmm >.<

2009-11-19T18:38:00.001-08:00

Maybe...

Love is something I can never understand - ever.

2009-09-29T10:07:00.000-07:00
I don't remember the last time I felt this upset and so emotional for almost no reason at all.
So what is it this time that tears me down like this?

And at times like this, I wonder how more emotional one can get.

Could it be love that makes me feel this way?

Possibly and I would dare say definitely.

Don't ache, this heart of mine, love is nothing but just a feeling. Love is something not meant to be cried over. Love, don't do this to me. You're tearing me apart and leaving me with tears all night long. I can see no one standing next to me wrapping me in his arms, assuring me that it'll be a better day tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow, love will treat me better. Maybe tomorrow, I will find new love.

I'm not confused. I know I'm not. However, I'm unsure. I'm unsure of what I'm feeling.

How easy can letting someone you loved a long time go? It is not easy I know. Then again, here I am standing, facing this thing I know as love.

Ahh, I want to sleep. I want to cuddle up like a baby on my bed under my blanket. Then shut my eyes, have a fairy tale dream and hopefully, I feel better when I wake up tomorrow morning.

I feel like crying, so much right now. Just cry and let it all out but - then again, what's gonna be left of me? It is not wrong to cry, but I guess it's wrong to cry for no reason at all.

Why am I feeling this way?

Have I been rejected? Erm, not exactly but partly; but that isn't the main reason why I'm feeling this emo, is it? No, it is not.

I have to let someone i loved go. Can I do it? Do I need more time? I guess so, yeah.

Is something bothering me? Is someone asking me to do something all the time; pressuring me over and over and over again? And today it just ticks off? Yes, but it isn't the main reason of my emotional situation now either.

Did I feel unwanted today? I did, by a certain someone, but that definitely is not the reason, either.

I guess, add all 4 up, you'll have an emotional me standing here then.

Ahh. I want my bed.

At times I cry so much, I just really wish, that...

=/

Nitez world..
May love makes the world a little smaller tonight.

2009-09-20T13:25:00.000-07:00
I feel like I'm like a trapped bird, in a pretty white cage.

A broken hearted one.

Chirping a sad tune.

How I wish I can be let free.

Run wild and have beautiful days.

No tears, no pains.

Just a carefree, simple life.

Can someone come and set me free?

You may not know it, but just simple words can already lift my heart and spirit.

I'm that down, but yet, I shall put on a fake smile for the world to see.

Nitez world.

ooh~!

2009-08-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

Look guys~ An email from the Organizers:

Greetings!

On behalf of the main organizer of The Malaysia Supermodel Search 2009, I would like to say congratulations in having the courage to pursue your dreams. I would also like to say thank you to all the contestants of The Malaysia Supermodel Search 2009 for allowing us to “Transform Your Dreams into Realities” & usher you into the journey in becoming Malaysia’s First Ford Supermodel of the World.

While you continue to pull votes to secure a place in the “Top 100 Elimination”, the main organizer would like to give you a glimpse of the journey you are about to experience.

The Journey in finding Malaysia’s First Ford Supermodel

Three photos of every registered contestant have been sent to Ford Models New York for first castings on the 24^th August 2009. All successful contestants from the first castings will be placed into our “potential” file. 50% of your total result will be contributed from the First Castings.

All voting will be officially closed on the 27^th August 2009 midnight. Your votes will then be accumulated and the Top 100 contestants with the highest votes will be assessed. Voting will contribute a total of 50% into your final result.

The Top 100 contestants will be chosen based on 50% from First Castings & 50% from SMS votes. The 100 successful contestants will receive a SMS text indicating that you have made it into the Top 100. So WATCH OUT models for your SMS on the 27^th August 2009!!!

The Top 100 will need to attend a “Big Elimination" on the 28^th August 2009 at Bangsar Village 2 Concourse. All 100 successful contestants should arrive at 1pm for rehearsal and the main judging will start at 8pm. Absence from the rehearsal & judging will cause you to be disqualified. So MARK THIS DATE down in your calendar!!!

Congratulations for making it this far! I wish you all the best in the Top 100 Elimination & NEVER stop believing in your dreams!!!

Sincerely,

Wen-Ji

Event Director & Executive Producer

The Malaysia Supermodel Search 2009

Malaysia Ford Supermodel of the World

LoLL.

So again, remember to vote for me please (and i will love u all more muahaha)

Send SMS: VOTE MSS047 to 32300.

Voting ends 27/8/2009 (that's tomorrow!) midnight!

Thanks in advance for those who sent in the votes ;)
xoxo <- for those voters <3

p/s: still, i think i might not be able to make to the top 100,
even if i do, i probably get kick again during the Big Elimination in Bangsar, LOL :)

Cheers and good night. Sleep now, it's raining and you dont have to turn your air-cond on =p
Nights world.

Puh-leez.

2009-08-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

I need a big favor from you guys! I got called for entering a reality show for a search for The Malaysia supermodel Search 2009, months ago.
Anyway, now is only the elimination round, so it depends on the amount of votes they receive from each participant.
The Female (there'll be a male winner as well), winner will win RM50,000 and gets to be on the front cover of FHM, and she'll be representing Malaysia to US to compete with the rest to win USD$250,000.
Obviously, i'm not planning to go that far, but i just wanna be in it for experiences' sake. :)

Therefore, pretty please, with sugar icing on top, help me through voting for me. All you have to do is SMS: VOTE MSS047 and send it to 36300.

Voting ends at 27/8/2009 midnight. (RM1/vote)

I promise I will love you (those who votes for me only :p) more :D ♥ ♥

I sort of forgotten the details, but I will dig it up and then let you guys know. Please please vote :D

Cheers with loads of love

♥

P/S: For those of you who also know Trishil and her boyfriend, vote for them too! I dont know their MSS numbers, so ask them :D

Love ya'll

robbed!

2009-08-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

It was about 530 in the evening when i reached DJ yesterday. I got a computer next to Kelvin's and was playing CoD4, but somehow i didnt feel right; i had no mood to play COD4 despite me coming over to Blitz just to play COD4. Anyway about an hour later, something happened.

Cookie/Nick, my teammate, who was playing in Sri Petaling branch, was playing one on one sniper with Kelvin and i was spectating. Then i heard someone yelling and banging the table. I looked up and saw a fat malay guy there and he was holding a stick. I thought he was playing with his friend, but then suddenly another thin malay guy came towards my direction, he was holding a small axe. Then did i realized the fat one was actually holding a parang, a rusted about 25 cm long parang. The thin guy walked towards Kelvin and me and was yelling, "Dompet handpone semua keluar!" and was waving his small axe as if to let us know he was not kidding. THAT exact moment i realized we were actually being robbed!

In BROAD DAYLIGHT.

Anyway. Kelvin and i tried tossing our handphones under the computer table, but he knew. So i just gave up and took my phone and gave it to him, and so did Kelvin. I opened my wallet and took out RM30 though in my wallet there was RM5. I dont think he even bother cause he didnt check. What a dork. Anyway, they went around and i looked around, i noticed not everyone was paying attention to the robbers. There was one guy sitting way corner who was left untouched. And there were even a few guys who actually continued playing. I looked at Chucky, and he gave me the, 'Calm down, dont do anything stupid,' look. Kelvin was cursing. I tried consoling him. Anyway, i decided to play as well. So i joined the public game.

Cookie was disconnected from Kelvin because Kelvin pulled out his computer wayar. I joined the public server and saw cookie there. He asked me what happened. And i said:

Blit got robbed.
Now.
Do smth

And then left. I did see him type serious? Anyway, i watched how the robbers act. When they thought they had everything done, the fat guy decided to leave.
He came into Zone 2 and told the thin guy, lets go. I stood up. And slowly walked behind the 4 robbers. They left the place, and i turned around, and saw a whole lot of people stood up from the corner of the cyber cafe. They were asking themselves in Chinese, "Wanna chase?"
I turned around, and i didnt want to give chase, i just wanted to know their mode of transport and where they were heading to.
I opened the door and i heard the guys behind me saying, "LETS CHASE!"

I stepped out of the cafe and looked around. Didnt see the fat guy but i saw the thin one who was holding the small axe earlier on. As fast as lighting, the guys were already outside as well, and they spotted the thin robber, who was actually slow and taking his sweet time just wanting to start his motorcycle engine. He saw a bunch of guys outside the cafe, he panicked, dropped everything, and began to run. I turned towards the lane at my left and saw the rest of the 3 robbers; they were already on the bikes and they did turn back, but zoomed off as they saw the guys appearing there and yelling at them. Back to the thin guy, he tried running, a stupid move, because there were about 30-40+ people chasing after him from all directions. He climbed a slope and wanted to run but i heard a car honk and i think that was what stalled him, and he was caught by a few guys, Kelvin was the first few. I was still standing outside of the cafe, and then Chucky came out. He told me, "Cat, stay here." He went to his car which was parked nearby and i saw him took out a metal rod. There were so many people around, i think everyone in Blitzone came out to have either a revenge or just to have a look.
In the end, i walked up the slope as well and the guys were punching the robber. I did not go over, but i did see many people video-recording and taking pictures. Kelvin got me, and he told me, "I got your phone."
I sighed. OMG. My phone! He was the one took it, and he was the one caught too.

It was chaos, very chaotic! Passer by who walk by just asks, "Was it a robber?"
Kelvin told me the robber was bleeding. And a while later, the police came and took him away.

The fat robber seemed pretty confident when he was doing the robbery thingy, but after that i saw him run away like a chicken. I heard people say it was the same robbers who robbed Pro X a few weeks/months ago.

I'm glad i got my phone back. Thanks Kelvin! <3

But i lost RM30, sob.

I'm glad the robber is caught, and im sure those who were robbed are too.

I was pretty shaken up, but then was okay after that. SIGH. =/

LOL.

Anyway to those who had the same fate as me, hope you guys are ok, and i really do pray they catch the other 3 robbers. Gawd, especially the fat one.

Random post~

2009-07-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

Just for fun!
I know these people by name xD

Aaron Lee
Aaron Ang
Aaron Chai

Amanda Choong
Amanda Hiew
Amanda Ho

Amelia Chin
Amelia Ang
Amelia Natasha

Alex Koh
Alex Liew
Alex Yeo
Alex K Philip
Alex Soo
Alex Tan

Adrian Chow
Adrian Teh
Adrian Rhaphsody (dunno how to spell lol)
Adrian Lee Kong Yew
Adrian Low
Adrian Ng
Adrian Corleone

Amir Faliq
Amir Firdaus

Alvin Lim
Alvin Low
Alvin Ng

Andrew Chan
Andrew Chang
Andrew Ooi
Andrew Tan
Andrew Yong

Benjamin Chong
Benjamin Ong
Benjamin Teoh
Benjamin Yue
Benjamin Wong
Ben Realapple

Brian Voo
Bryan Cheong
Bryan Chan
Bryan Chang
Brian COD4 Player (Lucky Guy)
Bryan Teoh

Charmaine Leong
Charmaine Tan
Charmaine Cheah Mun Yee

Calvin Kau
Calvin John Ho
Calvin Chin
Calvin Loo
Calvin Nicholas

Cheryl Ang
Cheryl Lai
Cheryl Lum
Cheryl Leong
Sheryl Gan

David Hie
David Yap
David Owen
David Xavier

Debbie Ong
Debbie Chen

Debra Jean
Debra Low

Derek Chin
Derek Choong
Deric Leong
Derrick Johnson

Edmond Lee
Edmund Chan

Edwin Chan
Edwin Chan (Kylie's bro.)

Emily Ling
Emily Yeo

Eric Goh
Eric Ong
Eric Chaos
Eric Lam
Eric Goh
Eric my school senior haha

Eugene Gerard
Eugene Leong

Han Lim
Han Sheng
Han Sern
Han Shiang
Han Jie
Han Jiang
Han Lim
Han Jun
Han Mei
Han Yi

Ian Ding
Ian Adly
Ian Koh
Ian Wong

Jason Foo
Jason Teon
Jason Lee
Jason Mraz!

Jeffrey Voon
Jeffrey Chew
Jeffrey Tan

Jess Jing Yi
Jessica Ho
Jessica Yong
Jessica Ng

Joanna Ho
Joanna Choong

Joanne Chuah
Joanne Gan

Jocelyn Cheah
Jocelyn Yap

Joel Khor
Joel Lee
Joel Wong
Joel Yee

Jonathan Aw
Jonathan Hiu
Jonathan Teoh
Jonathan Lee
Jonathan Khor
Jonathan Ooi
Jonathan Siao
Jonathan Yip

Josh Chan
Joshua Ang
Joshua Chang
Joshua Tan
Joshua Yap

Justin Heng
Justin Lee
Justin Lim
Justin Wong
Justin Lourdes

Kelvin Ng
Kelvin Loo
Kelvin Wu

Kenny Lim
Kenny Ng

Li Ching
Li Hua
Li Xia xD
Li Lian
Li San
Li Theng x 2
Li Yong
Li May
Li-Shen

Nicholas Lee
Nicholas Leng
Nicholas Leong
Nicholas Lim
Nicholas Chew
Nicholas Cheng

Rachael Mohan
Rachel Mak
Rachel Hoo
Rachel Tong
Rachel Mooi
Rachel Wong

Sarah Mokhtar
Sarah Tay

Sean Ong
Sean Toh
Shaun Chang

Stefanie Lee
Stephanie Beh

Syahira Ghazali Shera
Shahira Mahmud
Nur Syahirah Ganko
Syahirah Rahim

Pei Yee
Pei Chen
Pei Xuan
Pei Shan

Tiffany Chan
Tiffany Beh

Wai Chew
Wai Kuan
Wai Se
Wai Leng
Wai Lum
Wan Tian
Wanke

Wei Ching
Wei Liang
Wei Liong
Wei Lun
Wei Ren
Wei Hann
Wei Siong
Wei Xiong
Wei Yee

Yi Lyn
Yi Theng
Yi Xiang
Yi Zhen

Zainal Arif
Zainal Ariff
Zainal Azlan

hahahah! Random post~

Nitez, wanna go eat.

Hmm.

2009-07-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

I was just talking to a friend and suddenly it made me wonder: Am i always misunderstood? Has there been a bunch of friends that had been backstabbing me?

Hey, i know backstabbing are happening all the time, but maybe, just maybe, they're backstabbing about the wrong things about me. It might be the right thing yes, but then when i think about it again, it is like all the bad, sad, depressing, negative thoughts that come haunting me.

I know a bunch of friends that laugh at little things, jokes about others and have fun laughing about it. No doubt that everyone has to talk about someone for the sake of joking about, hm, and i still dont see why its me.

You know what, i think i am always misunderstood. LoL.

I actually had a pretty good day today, wanted to blog about my dinner reunion with my family and relatives but suddenly as i was talking to this particular friend, it hit me hard.
I know there are friends out there that i already know about who had already back-stabbed me. When they see me they say hi and talk to me just like a friend, then after that they'll backstab me. Oh yes i do know this handful of people, but i try hard not to show how displease i am with them, or maybe im just bad at hating people? Though i know deep down in me it disappoints me a whole lot.

I guess i am pretty easy misunderstood by many, girls or boys alike. Or maybe i was just trying to be nice/friendly too much people think i overdo it?

Ah, the real reason is still left unknown. I know there are people out there who dislike a certain character or attitude or simply just me, i just feel like if you feel that way, then why dont you just let me know.. Yeah it hurts but its the truth.. Dont truth hurts?

Haha, at moments like this, i just see myself as an empty paper: unknown, untouched, unseen, and also void; complete void.

Is there something wrong with me? I couldnt see it. I am always this blind until someone wakes me up.

Ahh. Everything has its limits. Maybe i overdo mine. That's why people misunderstands me so much.

Anyways, signing off.

Nites world. :)

Dearly Beloved...

2009-07-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

May the Lord Jesus bless Uncle Ang's soul and keep Aunty Meei Chynn, Joshua and Jeremy strong in their everyday life. May Jesus' peace be with them.

<3

I never knew I could feel this sad.

Life/Updates

2009-07-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade
What i am doing now: Listening to music and typing this and surfing blogs.
What am i wearing: Sleeping gown/Night gown
Drinking: Coke/Water
Current Mood: Emo/Sad/Depressed/Want so much to be joyful -.-

Bah.

About a week or two ago, Cassidy called up and asked me if i was free that night. I said okay and he came by and all he told me was, 'we going eat'.

Anyway i followed along and at first he stopped by a Petrol Station/Shell (i think), and i saw a bunch of guys with nice sporty cars ♥ Most of them were Myvis, but heck do they look good, all of it! Then after bout 10 minutes, i realized that i was in a middle of a bunch of car racers/speed lovers.

It's shocking yet exciting, i thought it only happened in movies. But heck did i enjoy myself. We met up with even more people (with awesomely modified cars) later on.
What really gets me was that when all 20-30 cars are on the road, they go in a line. Therefore, 2 other 'security cars' will have to block traffic in order for them to get in line from a turning/traffic light. It made me laugh to see that all the cars STOPPED and did not dare honk when all the rest of the crew were making their move. I dont know what exactly made me laugh, but, I just did. HAHA.
And what i thought was really cute was that when they were passing through a toll, all other cars wait up in front for all the rest to arrive so that they may go again together. Haha. Like a big bunch of family that waits for each other. SWEET!

We finally reached our destination (our meeting up with the rest of the crew was close to an hour!) at Bukit Jalil.. Or some where near there, didnt know exactly where. They had a system and a way to park all their pretty cool cars, and we had to wait another half an hour for our turn. Cassidy's white Myvi was parked with the rest of the white Myvis, in a very orderly and synchronized way. I liked it when i step out of the car and watch all the Myvis parked one line. Like those in the movie Fast and Furious, just that this is Myvis and well, it's in reality =D

I had a drink and then some guy went up and talk. It seemed to have been a quite big meeting amongst their people, about 2 or 3 (BIG) teams were gathered there that night. After that, it was car demo session!

They displayed quite a variety of cars but that night were focused on the cars from Japan ♥ I especially loved this Honda (didnt know what type. haha!), and there's also this BMW taht really caught my attention. They roared their engines and being skinny as i am, i think if they go on any louder my bones will break. It was an awesome experience, though my first time, but i loved it!

That was a few weeks back, wanted to update bout it but i didnt, too lazy. I regretted a whole lot that i didnt take pictures of those cars, =(

Feeling a bit tired as it is 12.30am, haih.
I know i should sleep, i have panda eyes that are darker than the panda's itself.

Hmm. More updates.

Went out with Aileen and Farhan and loved it and enjoyed it ♥ Talked about primary school and some past forgotten memories came back to mind. LoL. Funny innocent ones. Thinking of them makes me smile, lol.

As of now, yes i am single and currently unavailable. Cause. Too much junk in my head, havent really gotten rid of all of it though i am trying to. Felt like as if everyday it gets heavier.

Been going to play Dragonica for the past few days, half afraid i'm gonna be addicted to Dragonica. It's awesome! But, i know i have to cut down d. Level 17 but, still, gotta cut down =(

Feel like crapping a whole lot and donating some junkies from my head to the blog but dont know if i have the energy to do it.

What i recently was watching over and over again was ESP.Nobie's recent frag movie. The sniping competition he recently had at Blitzone which he bagged Champion, as expected. Here's the link. IMBA.

Ok! Serious stuffs matter right?

My Plans.

1. Start my Degree in Human Resource Management in September, hopefully at KDU.

2. Get a Part-time job?

3. Sleep early. Arghh.

4. EAT MORE. ♥

5. Sayang mummy, daddy, sister, and BoBo Ben more, and probably let them know lol.

6. Get a new phone. Yay!

7. Get a 16GB pen drive

8. No falling for guys. Never. (Currently xD)

9. Clean my messy room.

10. Break my record of NOT/NEVER been to a club.

11. TRY to love this life more than i ever did before.

12. Yawn.

Hmm, so thats about it for now, i think.

Listening to: Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade
What i am doing now: Listening to music.
What am i wearing: Sleeping gown/Night gown
Drinking: Water
Current Mood: Sleepy. A little happy compared to the above =)

Nitez world. ♥

Love.

2009-07-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

♥

If love was champagne, let me be the wine and you be the glass; so that i can fill you up with love.

♥

If tears were raindrops, let me be the sun, so i can dry up all your tears.

♥

holding back the tears...

2009-06-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

I closed my eyes but

The memory is still so clear

It seems like it was just yesterday

But you were gone a long time ago

I can’t breathe

I can’t sleep

You are the one I always think about

You are the reason that makes me smile

And make me cry

But I still love you, deep down in my heart

I know that is true

I see you walk by

Without a glance, without a look

Though I smiled at the sight of you

My heart cries as I long to be near you

Just to hug you and keep you warm

Just to protect you, and just to love you

All of my life

Why can’t this love be forever blissful?

Like how we had it before

When we would laugh together

Tease each other

And stay close to watch the sun rise

Those are memories that will live in me

For I know, I want to love you for eternity

There’s this voice speaking to me

Reminding me of your smile

Reminding me of your kisses

Reminding me of your hugs

Reminding me of our love

Why can’t you just sit right here next to me

So that we can have all of that all over again

The sun rises and brightens my world

The birds sing a happy tune

The water reflected the beauty of the rising sun

I looked around me

And realized that I am on my own

I wish you can be right here with me

I wish we can stay and watch the sun rise together

I sit there and look to infinity

My heart calls out your name

My cold hand longs to hold your warm hands

But I realized

This is the reality

That you are forever gone

And I sit there all on my own

Holding back the tears...

i <3 this song.

2009-03-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

Lyrics to Can I Have This Dance :
[Gabriella]
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

[Troy, Gabriella]
Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Troy]
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all

[Troy, Gabriella]
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Gabriella And Troy]
Oh no mountains too high, and no oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

(chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance