haha, it really sucks to be heart broken. Just so many things come flooding in your brain at once, you can't even get to catch any of it. Maybe some of you may think that I deserve it, and no I'm not denying cause right now, I think I really do deserve it.

I hate it when I realized you won't be there to tell me things anymore.
What happened to the qualities you said you were looking for that you found in me?
What about the promises you made to me?
What about those things you said that cheered me up almost immediately?

And why on earth are Agu and June Liang right again!? ):

I can't, its so hard.. To sit here, and think of everything. Everything from the beginning. I know it's only a week. We had a great one week, that one week that can break my heart as if it had been for years.

I thought you were the one. ARGH yes, the naive me came took over me again. But I couldn't, I couldn't help falling for you. You made me think you were the one.

Damn, I hate it now, all over again, I hate it when you come telling me, "Hey, you know, I lied all this while." The worst part? "I'm sorry." Like "i'm sorry" can make any difference, like it can mend this broken heart, like it can reverse what you just said!

That's crazy, one week and you can make me feel this way. It's crazy, it really is.

I DONT UNDERSTAND.

No, I dont.
Not at all and not even a bit.
So many questions, but you're not there to give me an answer.

Telling myself, dont cry. Dont cry, anymore.
Not working.

Can I ask you why?
Why after so much convincing that it will work between us, you drop it just like that?

You're confused?
Probably. But unacceptable.

I hate to see your name. I hate to look at it, scroll over it, but just when I wanna double click it, I stop and remember how you break this heart you promised you will mend. But, I keep doing that, I keep scrolling till I see your name.

It made me sigh, it made let out a heavy breath, it made me remember how you broke my heart again..

I really wanted to love you.
I really did...

I guess it's not too bad that it has turned out like this, but hey, I really did love you, you know. You were really, really, someone special, to me.

I'm gonna miss your laugh, though I've only heard it a few times.
Gonna miss the way you tease.
Gonna miss the way you look at me.
Gonna miss the things you say to me that will actually make me genuinely smile.

Gawd you make me crazy over you.

And the same way, you make me cry over you.

You mended my broken heart
Before you turned and walk away
Leaving me in tears
And bleeding all over again

You said to me, "I love you."
And i smiled, and knew that you meant well
But was I too naive
To have believe those 3 most powerful words?

And then one day
You came to me and told me
that you were taking another path
there i was all over again,
crying and trying to pick pieces of my broken heart

Why
Did you ever came into my life
and brought sunshine
then take it back again?

I wore a mask today
A smiley mask
that let the world know that i am indeed happy
but truth is that, i am not.

People come and people go, but what really remains is the fond memories, sweet memories of laughter. Wishing that sometimes, life will never have a fullstop. (That would probably mean the world will be so packed, therefore, adding some smart brainies alltogether, create a way to live underwater and outta space <33)

I never knew how I can ever accept a loved one's death. I never imagined how it would be. Until it happened. Heartbroken and asking why God has to be so unfair - but He actually isnt.

Then now I wonder, why God wanna make me go through all this love issues that always seem to get back to me?
Or is it just..Plainly me to be blamed?


TO YOUUU:

why u little heartbreaker. tears are precious ok! :P

Untitled.

I may fail being a bad girlfriend, I may have cheated and lied, but who really knows what I really am made of? Even my ex of almost one year doesn't know. He couldn't understand me. Nor does he still trust me. Hate his sarcasm, anyway.

I'm glad to have found you. I'm glad that you and I agreed that the past is the past.

It's raining, time to emo~

hmm >.<

Maybe...

Love is something I can never understand - ever.

I don't remember the last time I felt this upset and so emotional for almost no reason at all.
So what is it this time that tears me down like this?

And at times like this, I wonder how more emotional one can get.

Could it be love that makes me feel this way?

Possibly and I would dare say definitely.


Don't ache, this heart of mine, love is nothing but just a feeling. Love is something not meant to be cried over. Love, don't do this to me. You're tearing me apart and leaving me with tears all night long. I can see no one standing next to me wrapping me in his arms, assuring me that it'll be a better day tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow, love will treat me better. Maybe tomorrow, I will find new love.

I'm not confused. I know I'm not. However, I'm unsure. I'm unsure of what I'm feeling.

How easy can letting someone you loved a long time go? It is not easy I know. Then again, here I am standing, facing this thing I know as love.

Ahh, I want to sleep. I want to cuddle up like a baby on my bed under my blanket. Then shut my eyes, have a fairy tale dream and hopefully, I feel better when I wake up tomorrow morning.

I feel like crying, so much right now. Just cry and let it all out but - then again, what's gonna be left of me? It is not wrong to cry, but I guess it's wrong to cry for no reason at all.

Why am I feeling this way?

Have I been rejected? Erm, not exactly but partly; but that isn't the main reason why I'm feeling this emo, is it? No, it is not.

I have to let someone i loved go. Can I do it? Do I need more time? I guess so, yeah.

Is something bothering me? Is someone asking me to do something all the time; pressuring me over and over and over again? And today it just ticks off? Yes, but it isn't the main reason of my emotional situation now either.

Did I feel unwanted today? I did, by a certain someone, but that definitely is not the reason, either.

I guess, add all 4 up, you'll have an emotional me standing here then.

Ahh. I want my bed.

At times I cry so much, I just really wish, that...

=/




Nitez world..
May love makes the world a little smaller tonight.

I feel like I'm like a trapped bird, in a pretty white cage.

A broken hearted one.

Chirping a sad tune.

How I wish I can be let free.

Run wild and have beautiful days.

No tears, no pains.

Just a carefree, simple life.

Can someone come and set me free?

You may not know it, but just simple words can already lift my heart and spirit.

I'm that down, but yet, I shall put on a fake smile for the world to see.


Nitez world.

ooh~!

Look guys~ An email from the Organizers:

Greetings!

On behalf of the main organizer of The Malaysia Supermodel Search 2009, I would like to say congratulations in having the courage to pursue your dreams. I would also like to say thank you to all the contestants of The Malaysia Supermodel Search 2009 for allowing us to “Transform Your Dreams into Realities” & usher you into the journey in becoming Malaysia’s First Ford Supermodel of the World.

While you continue to pull votes to secure a place in the “Top 100 Elimination”, the main organizer would like to give you a glimpse of the journey you are about to experience.

The Journey in finding Malaysia’s First Ford Supermodel

• Three photos of every registered contestant have been sent to Ford Models New York for first castings on the 24^th August 2009. All successful contestants from the first castings will be placed into our “potential” file. 50% of your total result will be contributed from the First Castings.

• All voting will be officially closed on the 27^th August 2009 midnight. Your votes will then be accumulated and the Top 100 contestants with the highest votes will be assessed. Voting will contribute a total of 50% into your final result.

• The Top 100 contestants will be chosen based on 50% from First Castings & 50% from SMS votes. The 100 successful contestants will receive a SMS text indicating that you have made it into the Top 100. So WATCH OUT models for your SMS on the 27^th August 2009!!!

• The Top 100 will need to attend a “Big Elimination" on the 28^th August 2009 at Bangsar Village 2 Concourse. All 100 successful contestants should arrive at 1pm for rehearsal and the main judging will start at 8pm. Absence from the rehearsal & judging will cause you to be disqualified. So MARK THIS DATE down in your calendar!!!

Congratulations for making it this far! I wish you all the best in the Top 100 Elimination & NEVER stop believing in your dreams!!!

Sincerely,

Wen-Ji

Event Director & Executive Producer

The Malaysia Supermodel Search 2009

Malaysia Ford Supermodel of the World

LoLL.

So again, remember to vote for me please (and i will love u all more muahaha)

Send SMS: VOTE MSS047 to 32300.

Voting ends 27/8/2009 (that's tomorrow!) midnight!

Thanks in advance for those who sent in the votes ;)
xoxo <- for those voters <3

p/s: still, i think i might not be able to make to the top 100,
even if i do, i probably get kick again during the Big Elimination in Bangsar, LOL :)


Cheers and good night. Sleep now, it's raining and you dont have to turn your air-cond on =p
Nights world.